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The other day, I was riding in the car enjoying the last few days of my summer vacation, when a song by Musiq Soulchild came on. It was so beautiful. One of those songs that just lingers in your spirit. It was about love—raw, real, tender. And as I sat with the melody and the lyrics, something hit me.
As an English major, I’ve read the quote a hundred times: “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” I used to roll my eyes at that. I didn’t get it. Honestly, when you’re young, love can feel confusing, even painful. It feels like people misunderstand you—or worse, they don’t know how to love you at all. Or they express it in ways you don’t recognize. And so love can feel like rejection. Like disappointment.
But sitting in that car, years later, I finally got it.
Love isn’t just about the good moments. It’s about the fight—the argument, the stretching, the vulnerability. Even in the conflict, love shows up. When we’re yelling, crying, or falling silent, we’re still measuring love. We’re trying to ask: "Do you love me enough to stay?" Or maybe, "Is this too much for you?" Or even, "Am I worthy of this kind of love?"Sometimes, we sabotage love not because we don’t want it—but because it overwhelms us.
I remember hearing a woman say once, “If you’re not moving toward your goal, your ‘why’ isn’t big enough.” And maybe that applies to love too. Maybe we need a bigger why to love deeply to move us towards the goal. Maybe when we are stuck it’s because we need a reason to love.
Like a mother or father who, though sick, still gets up every morning to work —because they wants their kids to witness resilience and experience the meaning of life such as shelter, food and fun.
Like a soldier who loves their country so much, they risk everything to serve it.
Like the story of Jacob in the Bible, who said he’d work another seven years for the woman he loved. “It’s a light thing,” he said.
Love? We pray for it every night. We long for—not just to be loved, but for a chance to know it, to recognize it, to be transformed by it.
Because deep down, we all believe love is real. We talk about God’s love but the truth is we experience His love through each other. You know God’s love from your mother, father, spouse, siblings, and other family, friends, and sometimes enemies.
I’ve come to believe that enemies were never meant to destroy us—they were meant to sharpen us. They were meant to challenge us, not crush us. True enemies, as God designed it, weren’t supposed to be heartless or vile. They weren’t meant to carry out ruthless evil or threaten our very existence.
That’s why God says, “Love your enemies.” Because even in conflict, they are there to make you stronger and better.
They were supposed to be someone you competed with. Someone you wanted to always show one up.
It was the devil, he said that walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour—but still, he operates under God’s permission. There were rules. But today, many people have become like devils themselves—doing harm without restraint, without permission, and without conscience. That’s not the kind of enemy God had in mind.
The Bible says, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but God searches the heart.” And maybe that’s what He’s looking for in us—when we behave in a certain manner, did we do it out of love?
Maybe that’s all that really matters.
