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There comes a time when you have to ask yourself: Do I even know what love feels like? What a real friend is supposed to do?
For a lot of us, the answer isn’t as clear as we think. We confuse proximity with care, time served with loyalty, and silence with support. But when you’ve spent your life around people who don’t know how to love you—or worse, choose not to—you start to second guess what the standard even is.
That’s why when I came across the viral conversation between B. Simone and her friend—well, former friend—it hit me different.
The friend shared her side: She went through a serious financial crisis and said B. Simone, someone she considered a sister, refused to help. Now I didn’t see B. Simone’s response, and let’s be fair: maybe she was going through her own private struggles. Maybe her pockets were tight at the time. Maybe she had her reasons. We can't call it fully without both sides.
But let’s have the real talk: If someone has the means to help you, sees you struggling, and chooses not to… that is not love. That is not friendship. That is not family. "But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?" (1 John 3:17, ESV).
Love does not allow suffering when help is within reach. Friendship shows up. Real ones find a way.
Yes, there are exceptions. Maybe someone is emotionally tapped out. Maybe they’ve helped you before and got burned. Maybe boundaries were needed. But we’re not talking about those edge cases. We’re talking about the rule, not the rare.
So yes, without knowing B. Simone’s side, we can’t drag her to the mat. But what her friend said sounded eerily familiar to me and to so many others who’ve been dismissed and unsupported by the very people who claimed to love them. It’s giving you never had a friend to begin with.
Sometimes the people closest to us are just placeholders. There for the photo ops, but not the hospital visits. There for the celebration, but missing in the struggle. The truth is, some folks love you as long as it doesn’t cost them anything. And that's not love at all.
The Bible tells us clearly: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17). Not just when it’s convenient. Not just when you’re winning. But at all times—even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it costs them.
And Jesus said something even deeper: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.”(John 15:13).
You may not be called to lay down your life literally, but laying down your ego? Your comfort?
A couple hundred dollars you’ll barely miss? That part.
So here's the bottom line:
If you’re questioning whether someone really loves you, don’t just listen to their words. Watch what they do when you're in the valley. Real love doesn't vanish when things get hard. Real friends stay. Real friends show up. Real love moves.
And if they can’t, or won’t? That may be your answer. Love never leaves you to suffer alone when help is within reach.
Reflection Question:
Are the people around you loving you in action, or just using the title? Start reevaluating your circle today. Your healing may begin with acknowledging who never deserved access to you in the first place.
