Let’s be clear about something from the start: I’ve never been one to compete. Not over men. Not over attention. Not even over what’s mine by divine assignment. What God has for me is mine—period. 


So if I was rejected? I trust it was protection. A divine "no" to avoid a lifetime of unnecessary heartache. And if I’m honest? Before I got married, I said I'd rather wait in peace than rush into chaos just to say I have someone.





Now don’t get it twisted—life has its ups and downs. But I was good. Happy. Blessed. Whole. That’s the part people forget: you can be whole before the marriage. Before the validation. Before the ring. Jesus made sure of that.





Jesus Loved Women Differently

That’s why I love Jesus. Because the way He interacted with women wasn’t about control, comparison, or competition. It was about compassion, correction with dignity, and deep spiritual restoration.





Take the woman at the well (John 4). Everybody avoided her. They saw her mistakes, her past, her "baggage." Jesus saw her value. He didn’t gossip about her or shame her. He sat with her. Spoke with her. Gave her identity back. And guess what? She became one of the first evangelists. That’s what happens when real love meets a woman in pain.





And then there was the woman caught in adultery (John 8). Oh, they wanted her stoned. Not because they were holy, but because they were hypocrites. And what did Jesus do? He stooped low to cover her, stood up to confront them, and then simply said, “Go and sin no more.” No dragging. No screenshots. No cancel culture. Just grace, wrapped in accountability.

Then there’s Mary and Martha (Luke 10). One chose duty. The other chose devotion. Jesus didn’t belittle either—He just reminded Martha that sometimes, sitting at His feet mattered more than doing all the things for Him. That’s love. That’s leadership. That’s balance.




My Husband Resembled Jesus Logic

I don’t want a man ruled by his emotions or swayed by the loudest voice in the room. I need a man who can say, “Babe, breathe. We’re okay.” Someone grounded. Logical. Covered in wisdom and wrapped in discernment.




Because I’m not competing with women who don’t even know who they are. I’m not out here mimicking somebody else’s glow—I’ve got my own oil. I’m not a placeholder or a puppet. I walk in purpose. I love hard. My loyalty is expensive. My submission? Sacred. And it will never be wasted on someone who can’t protect what he prays for.




Love Should Cover, Not Expose

Jesus didn’t expose women to prove His power. He covered them to restore their power. So no—I don’t want a man who humiliates to prove his love. Or one who needs broken women to feel strong. That’s not strength. That’s a red flag dressed as masculinity. And it ain’t for me.


I need a man who’s got a backbone. One who doesn’t shrink in public when I need covering. One who understands that if I fall, I need lifting and sometimes lectures. A man who protects my name when I’m not in the room, and doesn’t need applause to stay loyal.





My Past? Covered. My Purpose? Clear.

Some people tried to paint me as bitter. Nah, I’m better. Because even when people talked about you—I prayed. I covered. I didn’t gossip. I warred in silence. That’s what love does. It doesn’t abandon when it’s not easy. It doesn’t betray when it’s bored.

And as for those I once loved deeply—I have no regrets. I loved you. I made sacrifices nobody saw. And even when I was betrayed, I stayed soft. That’s what hurt. Not the betrayal—but that I was loyal in a world that confuses loyalty with foolishness.

But I’ve learned.

I’m not begging anyone to choose me. If you can’t see my worth now, you’re not ready for what I bring later. And I’m no longer explaining myself to people who profit off my pain or celebrate when I stumble.

Dysfunction Is Not Love

Let’s talk about mothers for a moment. Because no real mother encourages her daughter to sleep with a married man. And no true parent sabotages their child’s peace for control. That’s not love. That’s generational dysfunction. Period.


This for the one that said she was strategic, if she was so strategic - why are you calling for me. Begging her to come save you.




So Here I Am...

Head high.
Heart guarded.
Spirit clean.
Too solid to settle now.




Jesus loved women well. He saw their past, but spoke to their future. That’s what I want. A man who sees me through the eyes of Christ. Not someone who keeps score. Not someone easily manipulated by noise. Not someone afraid of a woman with standards.


Because a good man deserves  a wife. Not just a woman. A team player. A prayer warrior. A nurturer. A ride-or-die—with wisdom. She won’t be perfect. But she’ll be perfect for him.


And he’ll know it. Just like Jesus knew the value of every woman He met.